


Get Ready To Be Knocked Out

by get_glitch3d



Category: Kick-Ass (2010), Kick-Ass (2013)
Genre: F/M, dave is kinda ooc but not really, dave is the older twin, devin has cringe humor, devin is really into deadpool, devin/dave pairing NOT INCEST THOUGH, maybe just two, probably just gonna be a few oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 02:37:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3919738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/get_glitch3d/pseuds/get_glitch3d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave has a twin named Devin, and together they fight crime... Whilst bickering and fighting each other in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Ready To Be Knocked Out

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the Kick-Ass movies for the first time recently because before couldn't and well... Dave is my husband and Chris is my child good day to you all.

Devin and Dave, the Lizewski twins. Where one went, the other was sure to follow. Dave was older by about twelve minutes. Their father never worried about them too much for that exact reason. 

"Hey, Marty, that slice is mine." Devin said, watching Dave's friend bite into the slice.

"Do you still want it?" He asked, mouthful of pizza. Devin groaned and stood, walking out of the room while she pulled her flannel over her head to cause her arms to be stretched out by the fabric pulling them up, Dave walked in behind her, pulling the flannel down as Devin turned.

"What?"

"Do you want the rest of my food?" Dave questioned, watching his sister dig around in the fridge. 

"Nah, you need it... I'm just gonna get some pretzel bites." Devin replied with a shrug, watching her brother adjust his glasses.

"You sure?" Dave asked, watching her nod before repeating him. "Positive?"

"Dave, I'm like a pregnancy test from a chick who was getting it every day of ovulation, okay? I'm positive." Devin sighed, watching her brother make a disgusted face.

The two went back to the living room and Dave turned to look at something and Devin caught his line of sight, he was staring at pictures on the mantle. One of the whole family together, Dave, Devin and their parents. One beside it with just Dave, Devin and their father and one taken recently with just Dave and Devin.

She sighed softly, noticing how from the first picture everyone looked happy, the second the smiles looked semi-forced and in the third it looked like an Addams Family portrait. 

"Dave..." Devin put a hand on her brother's shoulder, bringing his head to rest against her neck to hug him as his friends sat beside the two. "We'll do fine."

"I don't want to lose you too." Dave whispered against her neck, his arms wrapped tightly around his sister. Devin stared at Todd and Marty over Dave's shoulder, watching them go to stand before she gestured for them to sit.

"I'll be fine, you wanna know why?"

"Why?" Dave questioned, pulling back and dropping his arms as he sniffled a bit.

"Kick-Ass is my older brother." She grinned, punching his shoulder lightly. That brought a slight smile to his face, he pushed his glasses back up his nose the same moment that Devin did the same with hers. 

"C'mon, let's watch the movie."

Eventually, Todd and Marty did leave and Devin sat back on the couch as she looked at Dave, resting her legs over his. 

"Tomorrow how about we go to that little hideout you train at. I wanna see you in action." Devin offered, watching Dave look at her.

"What if you helped me?"

"What?" Devin asked, confused.

"Be Kick-Ass, you could be like -"

"I'm not gonna be your Robin, Robin was a side-kick." Devin cut in, pointing her finger at him. 

"No, no... We could be a duo."

"I'm not wearing a wetsuit." 

"You have to fit with me!" Dave replied, turning to look at her.

"If I do, promise I can 'Lady D' it?" Devin leaned forward, watching him nod. She cheered, fist pumping the air. In case you're lost, Lady D is Lady Deadpool. 

"You gonna put a belt on it?"

"I might just cut a hole for my hair, that's it." Devin shrugged, watching Dave nod. 

"Mine is green and yellow, what's your color gonna be?" Dave looked at his sister, watching her purse her lips. She moved her legs from his lap and ran up the stairs, coming back down with her laptop. 

"Let's find out, shall we?" She grinned widely, watching Dave sit up to be right beside her. An hour later and they still had nothing. 

"Purple and pink?"

"I hate those colors."

"Red and black?"

"If it looked like Lady D, sure. But it's inverted, so no."

Dave groaned loudly, shoving her shoulder with his. "You have to work with me here! Literally!"

"Black with blue lines." Devin offered to her brother who stared at it for a while, she'd finally made a choice and it finally looked good. Devin ordered it in her size, and two days later it arrived. 

Devin shoved Dave out of the way ad the two barreled down the stairs, prying open the door as Dave tried to, they were both pulling on the knob before Devin jumped on Dave's back and he honestly could have knocked her off, but he yanked open the door and Devin was trying to choke him, her arm wrapped around his neck as Dave tried pulling it back.

The post man stared at the two and Devin's grip went limp.

"Delivery for Devin Lizewski?" The post man said, holding a clipboard as a box was at his side. Devin jumped off Dave's back and signed quickly, grabbing the box and thanking the guy as she excitedly bounced over to the coffee table. Dave shut the door and she waited for him to sit before she took something out of her pocket and flipped it. 

"You own a switchblade?"

"Yeah." Devin replied with a shrug, cutting the tape on the sides before closing the blade, setting it down to sigh softly. "You ready?"

"I'm ready for my little sister to become a part of the thing I started, yeah."

Devin grinned and pulled up the lid of the box, dropping it beside herself as she moved the tissue paper and pulled up the shoulders of the suit. For dramatic effect on her part, she said in an announcer voice.

"Are you ready to rumble?!" 

Dave watched her with an amused expression as Devin rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head. 

"I need a catchphrase, okay?"

"Not that one." Dave replied with a scoff, shaking his head as she held the mask, quickly pulling it over her face. Dave watched her adjust it and smiled, slightly.

"How do I look?"

"Like you're ready to kick ass." Dave said, his smile growing as Devin pouted.

"See, you have a catchphrase, I don't." 

Dave rolled his eyes and groaned, shoving her shoulder. 

"We gotta figure out your name, then your catchphrase."

"Lady D." She said, looking at the suit. Dave raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Lady D."

"You want to be Lady Deadpool?"

"No, Lady Devin. Lady D." 

"How original." Dave said sarcastically, watching her flip him off, shoving his shoulder as she pulled off her mask.

"I'm gonna be Lady D, and you can't stop me, jackass." She giggled at the end.

"Dumbass." He replied, shoving her shoulder to get her back. Devin sighed for a moment, tilting her head as she ran upstairs with the suit, coming back downstairs with it on along with the mask.

"I change my mind." She told her brother as she turned to look at him. "I wanna be Lady KO."

"Lady Knockout?" Dave repeated, standing up to adjust her mask. "I like it."

"We can make a catchphrase out of that." Devin grinned, the mask moving with her expression. Her eyes lit up and Dave grinned back, watching his sister pull the mask off. She quickly moved to knee his groin, causing him to fall over.

"You've been knocked out!" She shouted, looking down at him as Dave clutched his junk.

"We'll work on it!" He breathed, rolling onto his back with a loud whine sound. Devin leaned over him and smiled, pulling him back up. Dave moved to punch her right boob, causing her to screech.

"What the fuck?" She shouted, clutching her chest. Dave just laughed, walking away with a hand over his crotch to protect it. 

"An eye for an eye..." He said, leaving to go upstairs to change into his suit to do a comparison.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, David!" She shouted after him, shaking her head. This was going to take some work.


End file.
